The choice of life and death.

Yesterday was a moody day for me. I started out with a headache at 3am, being a little impatient if not a little disrespectful to my mom. I cried between 2 and 3pm and spent the rest of the day worried. Not like i'm still worried, cuz my mom is not well, among other things.
I'm not sure if that is the cause of me shopping for bibles like crazy but i've bought 2 pocket bibles between yesterday and today. i don't really need any of them, i just bought them for the design. Maybe i need one of them but now i feel like i have to return one n since i used a 30% coupon for both of them, i'm not sure if it's a really good idea. i'm thinking of giving on to someone else. I'm thinking to give to a guy but the niv is soo classy it almost looks like a woman's bible. it isn't but i'm just saying it looks like it.

Oh, so i'm gonna try reading my bible each day. it's been mountains and valleys for me. I mean my walk with Christ. Honestly, i wish it's just mountains but that isn't how life works. I start to read my bible and live according to it and there comes the devil. Anyway, i know i'm never giving up on following Christ so i guess it's gonna be a battle and i've realized i'm willing to fight it. I think after doing this uphill and downhill thing with Christianity, searching for God and falling when you've reached somepoint, there comes a time when you really know what Christianity is and what being in the world is and you get to choose.

There thing is when you've tasted and seen how walking with God is, it is almost impossible to chose to live in this world even though you see how you've fallen and gotten far from God. I say almost because it will take a great fool to choose the world. I mean a fool who sees God's goodness and the wonderful life offered by Christ and yet, chooses the world know very well that he is not only damned forever but life from now on will be wretched. For me, my choice wasn't really soo much about weighing the consequences but i realized my life is much better with Christ and if you look at what this world has to offer, you are looking at nothing good, yet, i wonder why keep living according to the world?! Beats me. I think the more you keep falling and picking yourself back up to walk with God, the more you get to see what christianity is about and you understand it better. It's not about church going. There's a HUGE difference between a church-goer and a Christian. The only thing they have in common is tat they go to church but otherwise, they are completely two different things. It's one thing the world does not know and hence, if half of the girls a non-christian sleeps with are "church-goers" who call themselves christians and he meets you and you tell'im you don't do pre-marital sex, the person will tell you, well half of the girls i've slept with are christians. That is when i point out there's a huge a difference between a person who goes to church and calls themself a christian and person who actually lives as christian.

So, enough of that. Life is a mystery itself. Listening to KTIS two days ago, i heard about the I-35 bridge in Minneapolis. I did think about those who went down with it but a silly part of me thought about how sorta nice it is that i've been over that bridge and seen the river. I think i had a picture of bridge except i don't know where it is. Anywho, my heart and prayers go to the family of those who lost their loved ones. I'm glad the toll was way less though it would have been better if there were just a few injured people instead of dead ones. I wonder if anyone thought that morning when they drove to work that they'll die with that bridge collapse. i also wonder what those who had driven over that bridge an hour or 30minutes earlier before the collapse say about how they'd missed that tragic incident. The last time that bridge was inpected was 3 years ago. Maybe, this is will teach us to inpect bridges at least every year if not every 6months. you never know what can happen!