baby got book... and a sad night.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=97759aa27a0c99bff671
i think i started this post last friday and i was gonna finish it up but friday was soo hectic i couldn't sit down to write. i was gonna say everyone should check that video out. But i'll move on to more important stuff.
So, a death, a fall and just running around like crazy...that's all in a night's work. I sweet patient i know died. That was something i wasn't expecting. i heard he was up to visit our floor on monday but he couldn't get a bed. He was fine the morning but it was something of some aneurysm, you know those ones, when they burst, your done. It was sad. His primary on my floor got called to go downstairs and he came back with red eyes. Guy had been crying downstairs, i guess.
Then i had a sweet patient fall. It's like i saw it coming. I'd taken the trouble to mention to my preceptor the lady looks unsteady on her feet when i know very well she doesn't listen to anything i say. She doensn't even listen when tell her vital signs and she has to ask me during report to repeat it, like my brain is some walking computer. And when i open my mind to remind her of something during report, she shuts me down soo rudely it's even a shame. Anyway, she brushed me off thursday morning and thursday night the lady fell. Oops!!

I really don't get my preceptor and sometimes i find it hard to understand what she means when she says something. It doesn't have to do with any language barrier, it has to do with previous actions such as reminding me i'm just a "nursing assistant" and need to do this or that. Sometimes when she's angry, she just goes "don't touch the pump" so i stopped touching them and it's just sad to go to a patient's room, see a pump beeping to the point of blowing up a eardrum and just coming out to say "the pump is beeping." I really don't mind doing that. When she's teaching you something and u just don't get what she said, she takes it from you and does it herself, with some air of anger and an unspoken message of "lemme do my thing myself." I just feel she sees me as some dumb idiot who has nothing in the head and honestly, i don't feel like i have to prove otherwise, i really don't care what she thinks cuz it looks like my mind is already made up. The other day she got angry cuz i didn't tell her i was doing things like drawing labs and stuff when working with a different nurse. Perhaps, the other nurse saw me as nurse extern rather than an assistant whose only job was to take patients vitals and check on them q2h. I just think people only see what you want them to see cuz i've worked with different nurses and i've done a lot more than i do with my preceptor but i really don't mind doing what i do with my preceptor because each nurse has to make us do what they're comfortable with it.
So, i'm glad my co-op days are almost over, i'm thinking of working as a nursing assistant after co-op but part of me would like an externship at one these hospitals where they train externs to do phleb and stuff. Of course each place has it's own perk but i'll think and pray about it.

There are tons of stuff going on in my life now but i'll save that for later.